All You Need is Love – Part 2

In Part 1 of this blog post series I spoke of the Beatles’ song: “All You Need is Love,” and how many couples believe that’s what it takes to stay together: l-o-v-e, love. Yet I suggested that the kind of l-o-v-e, love, that it takes to stay together is different than what many people understand. Many people’s understanding of love is that it’s based on feelings. And so when the feelings are gone, that’s when they’re ready to throw in the towel and give up. But the love that makes a marriage go the distance (’til death do us part!) is much different than a feelings-based kind of love. This other love is an unselfish kind. It’s a love that’s based aside from feelings. And so when the feelings are gone, this love remains. And this love, it says, “You know, I don’t care if the toilet paper isn’t put on the right way like mom used to do it. I don’t care if the toothpaste tube is squeezed from the middle. I don’t care if she only wears make-up in public and not around the house. I don’t care if I have to search to find his other sock for the umpteenth time.” This is the kind of love that enables a marriage to go the distance. It’s the love of commitment to your spouse no matter how you feel. “And even if your health is failing. And even if I have to get you in and out of a wheelchair because you’re getting older, I’ll do it. I’ll do it! Because my love for you, honey, has nothing to do with how I feel or if I’m inconvenienced or anything else.” This is the kind of love that enables a marriage to go the distance. Those of you who’ve been married a while know it’s true. And it’s surprising when you love somebody aside from your feelings – it’s surprising how, oftentimes, the feelings, if they’ve gone, they come back and they’re much deeper than before. The Beatles were right. “All You Need is Love” is really all you need in a marriage. We husbands and wives just gotta make sure it’s the right kind of love.